Consider the poncho. Quite possibly one of the world’s
oldest articles of clothing, and why not? It’s a simple garment to make. Find
some material , preferably waterproof – or at least resistant -, generally
rectangular in shape, make a cut in the middle ,poke your head though, and you
now have something that’ll keep you dry-ish, warm-ish, prevent the sun from turning your skin into
beef jerky, and can be used as blanket, ground sheet, or shelter. The poncho
really is a wonderful piece of equipment when you think about it. And enduring.
Over the centuries it’s remained basically the same. Sure things have been
added here and there, a hood, draw strings, snaps, and grommets . It’s no longer made of hide, but , for all
intents and purposes , the poncho is an evolutionary dead end.
Until now. Hazard 4,
out of Long Beach, California, has made the next great leap forward in poncho
technology. They manufacture, what I think may very well be, the greatest
poncho in the world.
Say hello to the poncho villa. This is not your issue
poncho. It’s 15 x 13 x 2 inches of water resistant/breathable soft-shell
fabric, 100% (we’ll get back to that) waterproof fully- taped seams,
large hook and loop panels are located on the front and back of the poncho with
additional panels on the shoulders. But
that’s not all.
From the top down, this is an all new take on an old
concept. The hood is roomy enough to be pulled over a helmet, features a
playing card sized hook and loop panel on the back of the hood. The opening is
controlled via shock cord secured by a cordloc. The throat of the hood rises to
chin height, can be opened and closed using a zipper, all covered by a covenant
storm flap that sports hook and loop
secured seem. Oh, and get this, the hood
is lined. Fancy. But it’s nothing compared to the main body. That’s where
the magic is happening. I’m not talking about the snaps or grommets, though
very nice, they’re not where the poncho villa makes its money, no. That’s found in the pocket on the chest. A pocket so large you can put the poncho inside of it. Just think about
that. Once you’ve stuffed the poncho in to its own pocket, and, believe me, there’s
no finesse in this operation, you can
zipper the whole thing shut with a double sided zipper that also serves the
pocket while in poncho mode. Once it’s all squared away the poncho villa is
roughly the size of an iPad with the thickness of an MRE. It’s nice and soft
and has the looks of making an excellent field pillow. One side has a large
label with specs and a graphic nicely reminiscent of military labels. On the top are a small plastic D-ring and a
metal grommet to provide air in or water to drain out. In poncho mode the huge
pocket is covered by an equally huge, hook and loop secured flap. Did I mention
that the pocket is huge? Because it is. You can put four complete MREs in there
and still have room for your cell phone, two packs of smokes, extra pair of
gloves, couple of packs of beef jerky, paperback, and maybe some mission
essential items. And, remember that D
ring on the outside? Well, now it’s inside.
The people at Hazard 4 really have thought of everything.
A pocket on a poncho.
It’s really such a simple idea and it totally sold me on this product. And here, I have a confession to make. I hate ponchos. I mean that. For 20 years in the infantry I
humped around this nearly useless half assed somewhat water resistant sheet
that I had only used once as its makers intended it to be used, as a
poncho. Hot and wet is nice when you’re
with a lady. It ain’t so good when you’re on a road march in Basic Training.
Consequentially, my criteria when it comes to ponchos are pretty low and
simple, how else can it be useful to me?
1. Can it be used as a shelter?
2. Can it be used to protect/conceal my gear?
3. Can it be used as a groundsheet so I can
clean my weapon?
And that’s about it. A poncho being used as
an actual poncho? That never enters my mind.
That brings us back to the lined out 100%
waterproofed fully-taped seams. The thing is, they aren’t. Within 30 minutes of getting the poncho I was
outside and standing in the very convenient rain we were having. After about 45 minutes, or long enough to
start wondering what the neighbors were thinking, I went inside to see how the
poncho villa had held up. Well, overall it did fine, except were the stitching
for the shoulder hook and loop panels were.
However, I also tested the non
stitched material by lining my sink with the poncho and filling it with water.
An hour later when I looked it over the inside of the poncho was dry except for
some damp spots where the material had rested on the drain. That’s pretty good
for a non sheet of plastic.
